Dear MzDaeDae
I think I’m in love with my best friend. We met about six years ago and have grown closer over the years. He treats me nice and he’s a good person. My problem with him is that he has five kids. I’m not really a big fan of children and I don’t have any myself but I’m willing to make an exception for him. He’s also in between jobs right now. He doesn’t ask me for money or help with anything though. My friends keep telling me I shouldn’t date a guy with so much baggage but I really like him. Am I crazy for wanting to be with a guy with all this baggage? ~Ms. Baggage-carrying Bestfriend Lover
Dear Ms. Baggage-carrying Bestfriend Lover
First of all thank you for inquiring advice from me. Secondly I'd like to say I can completely understand what you are feeling. Well I'd like to ask you a question, why is this man that you feel is right for you? Is it because he treats you nice and he's a good person. I don't know how old you are but if you aren't already entertaining men who treat you nice and are good people then girl you need a wake up call. That's what men are supposed to do so that shouldn't be a reason to fall in love with him, then you say he has 5 kids which probably means he has bad judgement and would you really want to spend your life with someone who makes bad judgement calls. Not to add that you don't like kids, as a wife or girlfriend you will hold a special place in his heart and so will his kids and his kid's mother or mothers'. But can you really be satisfied knowing you will never have all of him, and if God forbid the mother died he had to raise the children in the home with you. Could you really grow accustom to becoming their honorary mother, knowing that as his wife if anything happens to him then you'll be responsible to raise them? And with the economy everyone is one pink slip from being in between jobs so money should never be an issue especially since he doesn't ask you for any...yet. Also, your friends might be telling you to keep away from the baggage since you know you are not a kid friendly person and you'd have to become kid friendly to 5 of his kids. My best advice would be to just be patient and wait for the guy with no kids and a job who will treat you nice and be a good person. They are out there you just have to find one, and you probably only want your best friend because he's convenient you don't have to meet and greet with new people, don't let being a lazy dater get you into a bag relationship or marriage because once best friends cross unknown territory they rarely ever come back from the journey. But all in all the heart wants what the heart wants so I wish you the best in whatever choice you decide to make. Thanks! ~ Mz.DaeDae :-)
